I have spent the last few days trying to make this blog not look so drab. I get frustrated and give up. I haven't worked with Blogger in sooooo long! Of course I am going to school and I am actually almost done with my degree in Web Design. I love web design, but it was actually a second choice for me. My first choice has always been writing. I just never considered it as a 'job' because I don't feel that I am great at it. I have made a living writing the last few years by writing as side jobs, but I still don't see myself as a writer. I always compare myself to others and feel my writing does not live up to those around me. I shouldn't feel that way, but I think in a way we all feel that way.

I have been trying all week to motivate myself again. I have had a rather rough start to the year 2014. It started in January when I had to have my gallbladder removed by emergency surgery. I had never had a problem with it up to that point. Then about 5 weeks ago I fell and broke my foot. I had never had a broken bone up that point either. I feel like I am falling apart. Before all this I was motivated and writing as a side gig to earn money. Now I can't seem to find that drive that I had before. I guess you could say I am depressed and trying to find my way out of it. I have always struggled with depression and anxiety but over the last few years it has been worse than ever.  It does not help that I am overweight (majorly overweight) and have low self-esteem because of it. I have never been this heavy and I am having a hard time losing it. I had plans of walking when it got warm but the whole broken foot thing kind of did that in. 

So, here I am having a pity party for myself and wishing I could just snap out of it! I just don't even know where to begin!

This is not my first blog. I have had a few over the years, but it has been quite a while since I have written on any of my blogs. None of my blogs seem to fit where I am right now. Where is that you ask? I'm not really sure myself. I just know I feel like I needed a clean slate. 

I hate starting a new blog. I always worry what my first post should be. I am not going to go into a bunch of detail about my life at this point. I'm just going to jump in and start blogging. I will fill in the blanks at a later date as I see necessary. 

The one thing I know is that I want to have a place to put my thoughts again and share them. I want to hold myself accountable for losing weight. I want to share my words. I want to share the stories of my children and husband.

If this is your first time on my blog - Welcome! I hope you will come back!